Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic to have another child, but I do realize that after this next munchkin comes along, my time with Collin will always be a little bit different, and it makes me a bit sad, in that bittersweet way.
So I thought I should write down some things I would like to say to him about our special three years alone. I know if I told him now, he wouldn't understand, but maybe when he's older someday he'll read this and know how much his mamma loves him.
Dear Collin,
When you came into this world on February 29, 2008, I was scared to death. Being the youngest in my own family, I never had any experience with babies and I was sure I would break you or not be able to figure out what all that stuff I got for my baby shower was to be used for. I'm not going to lie, the beginning was rough. You didn't sleep much, you cried a lot, and definitely spit up on me more times than I can count.
But then something magical happened. One day you smiled at me. Another day you cooed. Then you rolled over. Then you started talking. It was as if each day you did something so cool and so magical that all the hard times were forgotten and I lived for these fleeting moments of awesomeness.
As you got a bit older and started to really become a person, I really felt bonded with you. I loved our funny conversations about what we were doing for the day. I loved when you would snuggle me and call yourself my "snuggle buggle bear." I loved that I would make up songs about you and you would finish the lyrics for me because you knew every word. I loved your hugs where you would declare, "that's so sweet" afterwards. I loved your shrieking giggles when I would find your "tickle spot" underneath your arm.
You truly have been my best buddy these past three years. We hang out every day and play. You run errands with me and know where all the balls and balloons are in Target and the grocery store. You talk to me about what you're scared of and what you love. I've been astounded by your growing imagination in the past few weeks as I've watched you play airplanes and cars. I really do love the person you are becoming.
That being said, I know when little Cameron comes things are going to change. You may not get the full attention you once had, but please know that you are no less loved and I'm still counting on you to be my best buddy as we try to raise this next little one together. I know you will teach him how to wrap momma and daddy around his finger just like you have mastered. I know you will be the best big brother ever because you have such a sweet, caring heart.
I love you, bug-a-boo, and I am so honored to be your mom and for the opportunity to watch you grow up into an adult someday.
